That's what friends are (not) for

Right. Friendship is a funny thing, isn't it. It can be something which is constant, with two people seeing each other frequently, talking on the phone, lending a hand whenever needed, etc etc. That's close friendship, and I'm lucky enough to have several friends like that. But friendship can also be more sporadic, more infrequent, based on past shared experiences and the knowledge that even though you can't see this person all the time, you've been through things together and when you see them again, it will be as if no time has passed at all.

I've recently been stung by one of those 'friends' who, I thought, fell into the latter category. A university friend - my best friend from uni actually), who, it has to be said, was often my rock through those tumultuous years of studying, boys and developing fears about the future and the next stage of life. After university, we moved to different towns, started jobs and, inevitably, meetings once every couple of months became rarer, turning eventually into maybe once or twice a year. the phone calls were there occasionally, but busy jobs prevented us from being in constant contact.

Now I know both of us were to blame for this - staying in touch wasn't easy, and I suppose neither of us put in the amount of effort we could have done. But the issue is; for me, it wasn't a problem. On those surprising, glorious moments where we did talk or we did meet up, I had fun; the joys of infrequent meetings is that you have so much to catch up on and learn when you do get together.

Now, I have no interest in spelling out here the details of what happened recently to end this friendship, but what I will say is that I am saddened and surprised that this friend, although admitting equal guilt to me in terms of not meeting more regularly, has now decided that what we had over the last few years is not a friendship at all and that we should now cut contact altogether. they are not even coming to my wedding in 3 weeks. Oh well, their loss I suppose. I just think it's a shame to put a value on friendship like that. Grab the moments of happiness and shared experiences while you can, I say. It really doesn't matter how often they come.