recipe for bliss

Ah, the joys of youth..when I was so sure I would grow up to be an independent-minded, career driven girl with no desire to stay at home and cook. What did I do today? Cooked a big lunch and spent the afternoon baking brownies...haha!

But seriously, there is a serious pleasure to be had in cooking. I never really cooked much when I was younger, I guess it came from having an HE teacher as a mother! She was so good I was happy to leave it all to her! But as I've moved away, got older and found my own man to cook for (oh the feminist in me is groaning, and the man himself is even protesting because he actually would love to cook if I let him in the kitchen), I've discovered a real love for cooking.

Whether it's the long drawn out joys of a roast dinner (the cooking is drawn out; the eating takes a frustrating 5 minutes!) or the 'will it rise, will it collapse' traumas of baking, I find I can really escape from stress and throw myself into cooking, it completely takes me over and I'm as happy as Larry. However happy he is.

Brownie anyone? Before the other half eats them all?

Telly-vision

Why is it that a TV programme can sometimes make me feel as good as meeting an old friend, or spending a really nice night with my fiance or my family? Is it sad that sometimes, looking at a small box (well, actually, my TV is enormous - old and unsexy, but enormous, yet that's besides the point) can evoke in me the same emotions and feelings of comfort as more, well less face it, legitimate pleasures?

I sit here, wearing old clothes and hugging a cup of tea, and pass the hours watching a mindless soap or drama, or going goggled eyed over the latest reality-let's pick-the-best-out-of-a-bad-bunch music / model / entrepreneur show, and it actually makes me feel really, really relaxed and happy. I read constantly that such shows are 'drivel', 'brainless' and 'dire', but what if mindless and unchallenging is exactly what I need after a long day? I take comfort in the fact that I don't need to strain to understand these programmes, be disturbed, shocked or frightened by them, or feel uncomfortable with the subjects they deal with.

Don't get me wrong, sometimes I love to watch programmes that challenge, educate and confront me - I like to learn, I'm not afraid of tough topics and I'm not averse to being proved wrong or have my views altered by what I see. There are days when this kind of viewing is what I need, what I crave.

But sometimes, just sometimes, give me a cuppa and American Idol and I'm the happiest girl in the world. Oh and maybe throw in a biscuit. Covered in chocolate.

The morning after

After setting up my blog last night in a wave of enthusiasm and confusion, I now have that familiar but unpleasant morning after feeling of 'oh no, maybe I shouldn't have done that.' It's not that I don't want a blog, I do, but the name, the purpose...

Anyway, I am a worrier so the name will stick. But what I really want to do with this is write, put feelings and thoughts to page and generally just observe and post. Being in the communications business I am of course like many others a frustrated writer, and now I can submit my ramblings to the ether forever...

What I'm interested in this morning is why people react so differently to the same topic or problem. Why do so many of us look at an email, a situation, or hear a conversation and immediately think the worst or start panicking? Are we just programmed to be that way? Or is it something we've experienced; is it past bad memories that make us panic so dramatically? Sometimes I'd love to be one of those gloriously laid back people who can always look at a situation and just say 'oh it's fine, it will all blow over.' It must be nice not to tense up and imagine the worst all the time. But other times I realise why I am the way I am; I think I just really like the drama, deep down.

Welcome to worryland

So I was wondering what my blog should be about, and I thought it should reflect who I am; what my nearest and dearest would say to sum me up. Worryingly (haha), the main thing I could think of is that I worry too much - I am, always have been and always will be a worrier. Sometimes I worry about sensible things, such as when the bills should be paid or if my friends and family are ok, and other times my concerns are much less valid...I won't bore you with examples just yet.

But be assured that these pages will certainly be an interesting trip through a worried, but hopefully not too worrying mind.